1. Privilege.  Sex is never a right; it is always a privilege, an honor, a gift that can either be granted or taken away by the person you wish to have contact with. 
2. Permission. Since sexual contact is always a privilege, you always must seek permission before initiating contact. In addition, you need to be sober enough to know whether or not you have been given permission. Permission requires that the other person is capable, at the time, of giving you permission (e.g., that person is old enough, sober enough, and not coerced by you to say “Yes.”) If the other person is afraid to say “No” because you have a position of power or authority, you cannot know whether your potential sexual partner truly wishes to have contact with you (even if he or she does not actively resist your advances).
3. Justification/Intent. There is no excuse for engaging in sexual contact without consent. Sexually respectful people adopt the philosophy of “First Do No Harm.” Those who do not respect sexual boundaries should not be allowed to explain or minimize their use of aggression as the result of alcohol or other drug use, stress, deviant arousal patterns, loss of control or misunderstandings.
4. Responsibility. The only person who ever is responsible for a sexual assault is the perpetrator. The victim never is. We, as members of their community, share responsibility for holding perpetrators accountable for their violence. How do we do this? By never blaming victims for the harm they suffered. By remembering that sexual violence is not “just a part of the disease of alcoholism.” By never letting a perpetrator’s sexual access and satisfaction become more important than the victim’s sexual safety and autonomy. By keeping these principles in mind, we can make great strides in achieving sexual safety in our community.

Source: Hampton, Scott. Off the Beaten Path. Concord Monitor: January 2005. http://endingtheviolence.info/alcoholsex.html